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KEEP MOVING




My Uber driver’s name was Jerry.

He was 77 years old.

And he picked me up from a place I didn’t really want to be seen leaving.

One of those appointments.

The kind you walk out of a little quieter than you walked in.
The kind where you casually check your surroundings just in case someone you know happens to be nearby.

Because apparently shame has excellent peripheral vision.

I climbed into Jerry’s electric-blue Nissan Rogue—the kind of blue that feels like it has a little extra confidence—and the entire car smelled like cinnamon.

I was carrying more than just myself.

I wasn’t angry.

Just… heavy.

Jerry pulled away like he had somewhere to be.

Turns out, he did.

I was his last ride of the day.

He was supposed to be done. He was headed to meet his brother for lunch.

But he told me later that he saw where I was coming from, paused, and decided he wanted to see who I was.

So he took the ride.

“Hop in,” he said, like we were already late.

I didn’t know for what.

But somehow, I believed him.

Three minutes into the ride, Jerry had already:

missed a turn,

blamed it confidently on the GPS,

and informed me that he used to travel the country selling shoes.

Which, based on his sense of direction, felt like a bold claim.

But I stayed with him.

Not worked in footwear.

Not had a sales job.

Jerry said it like a man who had lived his life in motion.

“I was everywhere,” he told me. “Every state. Every kind of store. You meet a lot of people when you’re selling something they didn’t know they needed yet.”

Then, casually, like he was mentioning a guy from down the block:

“I was good friends with Steve Madden back in the day.”

That was it.

No explanation.

No résumé.

No attempt to convince me that his life had mattered.

Just… a life.

And something in me shifted.

Because there I was in the back seat, quietly conducting an audit of everything wrong with mine…

while Jerry was just living his.

We stopped at a red light.

“You know why I still do this?” he asked.

I had answers ready.

Money.

Boredom.

Something to pass the time.

He shook his head.

“You stop moving, you get old.”

Simple.

Then he looked at me.

“But that’s not the real way people age.”

Now I was listening.

“People get old when they start watching everyone else’s life instead of living their own.”

Well.

That seemed unnecessarily personal for an Uber ride.

Because if I’m honest, I had walked out of that appointment already comparing.

Where I thought I should be.

Where I used to be.

Where everyone else seemed to be.

Taking the messiest parts of my life and comparing them to everyone else’s highlight reel—which is a terrific system if your goal is to feel terrible before lunch.

Jerry wasn’t doing any of that.

Jerry was driving.

Talking.

Missing turns.

Laughing.

Still in the game.

“You know what keeps you young?” he asked.

I braced myself for something profound.

Jerry smiled.

“Gratitude.”

Of course.

Seventy-seven years on Earth and the man had apparently reduced the entire self-help section of Barnes & Noble to one word.

He tapped the steering wheel.

“You wake up and count what you’ve got. Not what you missed. Not what somebody else has. What you’ve got.”

Then he shrugged.

“Otherwise, you’ll always feel behind… even if you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.”

That one stayed with me.

Because comparison rarely kicks down the front door.

It slips in quietly.

It convinces you somebody else’s marriage is happier.

Their career is further along.

Their kids are doing better.

Their house is nicer.

Their life somehow came with instructions yours was missing.

And eventually you can become so busy watching everybody else live…

you forget that you still are.

Jerry wasn’t looking sideways.

At 77, he was looking forward.

Still collecting stories instead of comparing them.

We pulled up to my stop, and I realized something I hadn’t expected.

I felt lighter getting out than I had getting in.

Same life.

Same circumstances.

Nothing had been fixed.

Jerry hadn’t solved a single one of my problems.

He had, however, missed another turn.

So there was that.

I thanked him, although it felt strangely insufficient.

As I closed the door, Jerry called out:

“Hey… one more thing.”

I leaned back into the electric-blue Rogue.

“Don’t count your curses,” he said. “They’ll multiply on you.”

Then he smiled.

“Count your blessings. They grow too.”

And off he went.

Not to another passenger.

Not to make another dollar.

To meet his brother for lunch.

To sit across from someone he loved.

To eat something.

To laugh.

To keep living.

And I stood there watching that ridiculous blue car disappear down the road.

I had spent so much time wondering whether I was behind.

Jerry never asked behind whom.

Maybe that’s the question.

Because the fastest way to lose your life might be to spend it studying someone else’s map.

Jerry was 77.

He missed turns.

He smelled like cinnamon.

And somehow, he knew exactly where he was going.

Keep moving.

Comments

Lenore Skenazy said…
Jerry is right. I'm going to try to take his advice. And sounds like you already are.

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