Skip to main content

THE BEARD THAT RAISED ME




I like my beard.

Erin asked me to grow it a long time ago, and like most good life decisions, I didn’t ask many follow-up questions.

I just said yes and started cultivating face foliage like a man with purpose.

I assume she had her reasons.

Mostly structural.

Because under this beard is a situation.

Not a disaster… just… minimal architecture.

No real chin to speak of.

Lips that clock out early.

A jawline that never quite committed to the job.

The beard?

The beard is support staff.

I shaved it once.

Once.

My daughter Abbey was three. I went to pick her up in a public place, smiling like a father who had just rediscovered his face.

She looked at me.

Paused.

And then—full volume, no hesitation…

“That’s NOT my dad!”

Which is humbling.

But also alarming when you’re holding snacks and making direct eye contact with a child who is now alerting the community.

People started gathering.

Not aggressively.

Just… circling.

Like I was either about to abduct a toddler or auditioning for a very specific episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.

I tried to laugh it off.

No one else did.

Eventually, the real me convinced her.

But the message was clear.

The beard stays.

Now, I’ve noticed there are two kinds of men.

Men with beards…

and men who are one bad decision away from one.

Some wear them like art.

Sharp lines. Intentional edges. Smell like cedar and confidence.

Others look like they lost a bet with winter.

And me?

I started as concealment.

A soft blur filter for my lower face.

But somewhere along the way, it became something else.

Because now there’s gray in it.

Just enough to whisper, “He’s seen some things.”

Which feels generous.

I used to think the beard was there to fix what was missing.

Now I think it stayed to mark what was found.

Time.

Perspective.

A little less proving.

A little more being.

Also… still no chin.

So we’re not getting carried away.

And now mustaches are coming back.

Just… mustaches.

Bold. Unaccompanied.

Walking around like it’s 1978 and no one has questions.

I have questions.

But that’s for another day.

For now…

the beard stays.

Not because I need it.

Not because Erin asked me to grow it.

And not because Abbey might alert mall security if I shave it.

Although that remains a legitimate concern.

It stays because somewhere along the way, I stopped looking in the mirror for what needed fixing.

That took longer than growing a beard.

A lot longer.

Maybe that’s one of the quieter gifts of getting older.

You spend the first half of your life examining yourself for what’s missing.

More success.

More approval.

More hair.

A better body.

A stronger jawline would’ve been nice.

Then, if you’re lucky, something shifts.

You stop asking the mirror to tell you who you should become.

And you start recognizing the person already standing there.

Gray hairs.

Wrinkles.

Mistakes.

Stories.

All of it.

I used to think the beard was there to hide what I didn’t like about my face.

Turns out, I just had to live long enough to stop hiding from the rest of me.

So yes…

the beard stays.

And underneath it?

Still basically no chin.

But finally…

no problem. 




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Wooden Tulips

  Wooden Tulips T he first time I was ever really afraid- the kind of afraid that makes your body cold from the inside out- was the night Sadie was born. She was supposed to come on Valentine’s Day. Of course she didn’t. Sadie and Erin are both stubborn, so naturally she showed up early. I remember kissing Erin’s forehead, paper hearts taped to the hospital window, me rehearsing the one job I’d been assigned: cut the cord. I was ready to nail it. Dad of the Year. Opening scene. Cue applause. And then- she was here. Tiny cries, a flurry of nurses, scissors in my hand, cord cut, done. Erin was drifting in and out from the C-section meds, crying, laughing, floating. I was waiting to hold our baby. Our brand-new everything. And then a nurse leaned in. Whispered. “I’m sorry. I think your baby has Down Syndrome.” That was the first thing anyone said about my daughter. Not “She’s beautiful.” Not “Congratulations.” Just: I’m sorry. I didn’t even know what that meant yet. How could she k...

The Jacket

E very man has one item of clothing his wife has begged him to throw out for years. Mine was a light-blue jean jacket with a fake white cotton collar. Erin hated that jacket with the kind of passion most people save for politics or pineapple on pizza. I’d had it for years. Presidents had come and gone. My career had risen, collapsed, and tried to rise again. Our kids had grown taller than Erin — which isn’t saying much, but still. And through it all, that jacket kept hanging by the door like a stubborn dog that refused to die. It was hideous. I can admit that now. The collar looked like dirty clouds glued on by a kindergartner’s craft project gone wrong. The denim was the exact shade of regret you get when you bleach jeans one cycle too many. And still - I wore it everywhere. School events. Grocery runs. Parent-teacher conferences. Probably even funerals. It wasn’t clothing. It was my emotional support jacket. Erin tried everything: gentle hints, sarcastic digs, quiet donation runs tha...

The Spirit of Division (and Why We’re All Being Played)

  W e hear stories all the time about the supernatural—miraculous healings, near-death experiences, strange whispers in the night that make even skeptics pause. But how do we know what’s real? That’s what investigative journalist (and former atheist) Lee Strobel asks in his new book Seeing the Supernatural . He dives into evidence of the unseen world and invites us to consider something both ancient and terrifyingly current: What if God really does still rule over the spiritual realm—angels, demons, all of it? And maybe that’s where we need to start. Because the real battle today? It’s not just political, cultural, or ideological. It’s spiritual. We like to think politics is about ideas—policy, vision, leadership. But underneath the hashtags and press conferences, something darker is happening. Something feeding on us. Every election cycle, every argument at the dinner table, every “unfriend” click on Facebook— it all fuels a spirit that thrives on outrage. That sp...