The Splinter

 In Mass recently, the Gospel reading by Father Brian was powerful...from Matthew 7:1-5.

Jesus said to his disciples: "Stop judging, that you may not be judged. For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you."

One of the strangest things about being human is how easy it is to diagnose everyone else's problems.

We're remarkably gifted at it.

Many of us are Olympic-level talented. We can spot a character flaw from three zip codes away. Identify selfishness before someone finishes a sentence. Detect arrogance with the precision of military radar.

Laziness. Pride. Stubbornness. Immaturity. Poor communication skills.

We've got charts. Graphs. Supporting evidence. A PowerPoint presentation. Three witnesses. And, if necessary, screenshots.

Especially screenshots.

Meanwhile, our own nonsense could be standing in the front yard lighting fireworks and we'd somehow miss it completely.

It's fascinating.

The guy who cuts everyone off in traffic cannot believe how rude other drivers are.

The woman who interrupts every conversation is exhausted by people who never listen.

The person who gossips about everyone at work is deeply concerned about all the gossip at work.

The man who spends six hours a day on his phone worries society has become distracted.

The person who refuses to apologize keeps a running list of people who owe them one.

And perhaps my favorite...

The people who judge people for being judgmental. That one deserves its own trophy.

The funny thing is...

Most of us carry around a list.

A mental record of who hurt us.

Who disappointed us.

Who said the wrong thing.

Who should have known better.

And if we're honest...

We've all been tempted to pull out that list.

To settle the score.

To make sure the other person knows they aren't standing on quite as much moral high ground as they think.

Then there's a question I've been asking myself lately. Four simple words. And then what?

Let's say you unload the list.

Let's say you land every punch.

Let's say you win.

Then what?

Does anyone become wiser?

Kinder?

Closer?

Or do we simply walk away carrying two heavier lists?

I've done it. You've done it. We've all done it.

We carry around a magnifying glass for everybody else's flaws.

And a fog machine for our own.

We notice the splinter. We miss the beam. Every time.

Because seeing what's wrong with someone else feels productive.

It feels safer.

If the problem is out there, we don't have to look in here.

And looking in here can be uncomfortable.

Very uncomfortable.

The truth is, many of the things that irritate us most about other people are things we haven't made peace with in ourselves.

That's why certain behaviors get under our skin.

Why certain personalities drive us crazy. Why certain comments stay with us for days.

Sometimes we're not looking at a splinter. Sometimes we're looking in a mirror.

And that's where Jesus, as usual, quietly wrecks everybody.

Not with condemnation. Not with punishment. Not with shame.

Just one simple question... "Why do you notice the splinter in your brother's eye but fail to see the beam in your own?"

I've always loved that image. Because it's true. But also because it's funny.

Imagine someone walking around with half a lumberyard sticking out of their face saying, "I'd like to discuss your shortcomings."

That's us. Every single one of us.

The beam isn't there to embarrass us. It's there to humble us. To remind us that every person we meet is unfinished.

Every person is carrying burdens we cannot see. Every person is fighting battles we know nothing about. Including the people we've already judged.

Maybe the reason Jesus talked about beams and splinters wasn't because He wanted us to become better judges. Maybe He wanted us to stop being judges altogether.

Because once you've seen the size of the beam in your own eye, something changes.

You stop feeling superior. You start feeling compassionate.

The person you were judging begins to look a lot less like a problem to be solved... and a lot more like you.